Why You Will Always Remember Your First Love

Fairy Tales aren’t real. Except sometimes they are.

At least, that’s what we think when we think about our first loves.

Like many of you, I’ve been consumed with the COVID19 pandemic, but, today, I’d like to reflect on first love, think about something happy for a change in this crazy chaotic ever-changing world we are now living in.

I can remember my first like it was yesterday.

His name was James. It was my junior year of college, and I was studying abroad in Australia. It started off innocently. There was some kind of ball our dormitory was having that night. For some reason, one of my friends had agreed to cut this guy’s hair in the bathroom, a random guy she’d met in the dining hall who lived in our dorm. I was dressed and ready early. She wasn’t. So, I ended up finishing this guy’s haircut under the fluorescent lights of one of the co-ed bathrooms. We didn’t talk much except to tell each other our names. After I had finished, there was a quick good bye. I didn’t think anything of the situation, nor of him.

We crossed paths halfway through the ball. He gave me a sheepish grin. By then, we had both had a little to drink. The alcohol had loosened us up both a bit. We ended up spending the rest of the night at the ball, hanging out and talking. That night, he asked to take me on a date the following day.

And that was it. He became my boyfriend. We said our first “I love yous” to each other (the very first for both of us). I don’t know if our feelings were more intense for each other because we knew it was going to end that December when I went back to the U.S., but the time we spent together was magical. When we parted ways for the very last time, I was sitting on a train, and he was standing on the platform. Both of us were crying. As the train was about to pull away, he placed his hand against the train window. I placed mine against his. Sappy. Like something you see in one of those Hallmark movies I love so much.

We never saw each other again. I think he got married shortly after and started a family.

I’ve had many loves since then, but not like that. Not like that, because, he was my first love.

What is it about first loves? Why don’t we ever forget them?

1.     Your first love was pure. Most of us were in high school or in college when we had our first loves. There weren’t enough chances for us be hardened by life, hurt by other people. We were free from responsibility. Second loves, third loves, fourth loves, etc, are just never as innocent.

2.     Your first love was intense. Hello?! Hormones! Teenage hormones! Every look, every touch is magnified when you are young.

3.     It ended. It was your first heartbreak. You have such strong feelings for someone, that it is inevitable, that you will feel tremendous hurt when it ends. The mind and heart remember that hurt. Sometimes, it can drive us to put up walls so we don’t get hurt again.

4.     It made you grow. You were part of an “us” and that other person in the “us” influenced who you are in some way. Maybe you were shy and scared and you dated that extrovert. That extrovert’s extrovertedness likely rubbed off on you and made you more lighthearted, more open. Other people we care about help to shape who we are.

5.     Your first love didn’t end because you didn’t love each other. Maybe it ended like mine did. We lived in two different countries and it was time for me to go home. We didn’t end on bad terms. We ended because of circumstances. Our love was at its peak. You don’t forget that.

6.     It represented younger you. It represents your youth, a time when the world is at your feet. A time when the possibilities seem endless and life seems like it will go on forever. Who doesn’t like to remember that time?

7.     It was your first. Duh. But what I mean is that we don’t tend to forget our firsts. Our first day at school. Our first time driving. Our first love. Furthermore, your first love, often shapes the type of relationship you want in the future.

8.     Because there’s nothing that wraps you up in a warm hug like thinking about those feelings you had with your first love. This pretty much sums it up.

We want to hear about your first loves! Submit your stories at email@resuscitatingyou.com. We know you have time to write and we want to hear from you!