Social Health Is Key For Optimal Health and Longevity
Please enjoy this guess post from Sandra Tanner who blogs at https://www.optimizedlife.com/ !
When it comes to overall health, wellness, and longevity, one piece of the puzzle often gets pushed to the side. Social health is just as important as mental and physical health. In fact, social health is so important that it can impact a person’s overall health and well-being significantly. I’m not just talking about going places where there are just a bunch of unfamiliar faces. I am referring to quality and supportive friendships. Achieving optimal wellness is when you have optimized all aspects of your health ie: mental, physical, emotional and social.
What Is Social Health?
Social health is how someone interacts with others. It is the ability to form intentional and meaningful relationships with other people.
Our friends are a huge part in determining our happiness. You have heard the saying “you are like the 5 people you are around the most”. That is so true. They can affect how you think, what you do and the decisions you make both positive and negative. You will eventually think and act like them.
Why Do I Need Social Health?
Social health is important in many ways. People who are socially healthy can enjoy the health benefits people who lack social health can not.
Good social health benefits include:
Lowers blood pressure
Reduces stress and depression
Makes you happier
Improves confidence
Changing the way you see social health is critical because of the effects it has on your life. We should see it as you would see the need to eat healthily or exercise. Know why you need to find a tribe of people who will be there for you when something bad has happened in your life. Or if something amazing happened and you need to celebrate with the people who support you.
Do I Have Good Social Health?
In order to know if you have good social health, you have to ask yourself a few questions.
Do I have friends whom I confide in?
Am I too busy for friendships?
Is a social life a waste of time for me?
Am I constantly finding myself lonely and without anyone to share my wins and struggles with?
If so, you might need to find at least one good friend.
Quality over quantity is the key. You might have 400 Facebook friends you share only the areas of your life you want them to see but how many of them know your heart and struggles? In fact, having a big social media following might make you feel as if you have a lot of friends. Then why do you still feel lonely? Because they are built on surface talk and limitations. You can’t truly be yourself on social media.
We might even feel like social media friends are all we have time for because it’s on our term and we can fit it into our busy schedules. After all, we have jobs, kids, and a family we need to attend to and make a priority.
Humans naturally crave connections because we gain things from it we can’t get from “things”.
How do I build good social health?
There are a few ways you can improve your social health.
Connect: If you do not already have a circle of friends or tribe, look for ways to meet new people. Join a special interest class (cooking class, group fitness, mommy groups, etc), volunteer at church or invite someone to lunch from work.
Also, this is so important and something that has been confirmed in all of my relationships. Find friends who are in the same season of life as you are in. If you are a parent with small kids, find friends who also have small kids. If you and your spouse are empty nesters, find friends who share that same season of life with you.
I am not saying single friends can’t be good friends with people who have children or parents with small kids can’t be friends with people who don’t have children. I’m sure it can work but it does change the dynamic of the friendships in some ways. In my opinion, these would be examples of friendships but not quality friendships we need for optimal social health.
Building Relationships: Once you have found someone who you connect with and share similar interests with, take time to build a friendship. It won’t happen overnight. You will want to take time to nurture and grow the relationship. Remember, we are talking about quality and meaningful friendships.
Try doing these:
Be yourself from the beginning: Just be yourself. This is the number one and most important thing. You have an amazing life and add value to relationships. They need you just as much as you need them. Don’t be afraid to show them who “you” are.
Take turns sharing your stories: Invite your friend over for coffee and take turns sharing your life journey together. This is a great way to get to know someone. Be a good listener. Let them talk first. If you are unsure of how to start the conversation, simply say “tell me your story”, “tell me about you”. The truth is, everyone has a story. Sit back and listen to what they want to tell you. Don’t force them to go into details if they are not ready.
Follow up: After conversations like the ones above, make sure you follow up and let them know you really enjoyed hearing their story and thank them for opening up. It takes a lot to be vulnerable and sometimes it can be uncomfortable after. Especially for new friendships. They might feel as if they said too much or you see them a different way. By following up, it will reassure them they can trust you and you are not judging them. That alone will strengthen any relationship.
Commit to connecting: Commit to hanging out once a month. That can be grabbing lunch together, having coffee or a girl’s night one Friday evening. This will become something you will anticipate and look forward to.
Be consistent but not pushy: Reach out and text or call them but don’t get upset if they take too long to respond. Keep in mind they have things going on in their life apart from your friendship. You can send them a random GIF or funny meme to say hello or check on them if you know there is something specific going on in their life.
Ditch technology when you are together: Keep your phones in your pockets or purses.
Don’t force it: Not everyone will end up making the cut and that’s okay. Making new quality friends is a little like dating. After a few times together, you should know if they are someone who you look forward to seeing or if you are making excuses to get out of spending time with that person. If the relationship is one-sided or stressful, go ahead and part ways. Not everyone is meant to be your tribe.
Get together: Gatherings such as cookouts, double dates, couples trips or just inviting people over to talk and get to know each other is a great way to relax and hang out. Don’t have any expectations, just invite them over and see where the conversation goes. At first, it might be awkward but the more you talk and make connections, it will start to feel normal.
Most important, just relax, have fun and be yourself.
Learn more about Sandra Tanner and Optimized Life at Optimized Life https://www.optimizedlife.com/. Our goal is to create healthy families and encourage wellness communities. We are simply people who want to live our healthiest and best life possible.