BY KCY

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with a movie. I’d seen it before on my Recommended Netflix Pix, but it looked silly, like something teenage me would watch. So, I passed it by, until one day, with nothing better to do other than to pass time, I pressed download, thus beginning my love affair with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, based upon the book by Jenny Han.

Spoiler alert. If you haven’t watched this movie, but plan to watch it, read no further. Go and watch this movie now, and then come back to reading this.

To all the Boys I’ve Loved Before follows that magic formula of teen rom com. Jock meets quiet, introspective girl. They have a fake relationship and, of course, fall in love for real, all the while navigating high school.

Sounds cliché, right? Here’s a brief break down of the movie:

Introspective, inexperienced sixteen-year-old Lara Jean lives with her widowed father and two sisters. Tired of Lara Jean’s lack of love life, little sister sends out five letters Lara Jean has written to different boys she’s had crushes on throughout her adolescent life, one being her older sister’s now ex-boyfriend and her ex best friend. Mortified, she agrees to having a fake relationship with, Peter, a boy she kissed in a game of spin the bottle who just broke up with her enemy who was also a recipient of a letter. They, of course, end up falling for each other.

Cheesy? Yes! Done before? Yes!

But this movie is different.

There’s something so whimsical and dream like about it. The music is killer. The references are killer (Hello! Sixteen Candles and Fight Club!). The chemistry is undeniable. The introspective thoughts are the thoughts all of us shy girls had.

You see, I, too, had a Peter. I didn’t have a fake relationship so to speak, but I had a Peter. Someone I could easily talk to, who I could be my dorky sixteen-year-old self around. Someone who so obviously liked me, but I didn’t know it, until it was almost too late. When we finally did end up getting together, I pulled away. Not because I didn’t like him, but because I was scared. I was scared to put myself out there. As Lara Jean, so eloquently put it, “because the more people you let into your life, the more they can just walk right out.” So, I walked away first, before he could walk away. Because as Lara Jean says when Josh asks her why she just doesn’t tell Peter how she feels, “If it wasn’t real, then I didn’t really lose anyone.”

Luckily, Lara Jean doesn’t do what I do. Because, unlike me, who wasn’t brave enough to put herself out there, to take a risk, Lara Jean, ultimately does.

I’m way past the age of sixteen. It’s too late for me to go back to high school, to take those risks. To put myself out there so that I may experience that teenage love.

But it’s not too late for my daughter. It’s not too late for me to teach her to take risks in life, even when it’s scary. To trust people, even if they could leave you.

So, I keep watching. I keep cheering Lara Jean on.