BY KCY

Last November, I turned the big 4-0. If you’ve been following us for a while, you probably read my blog on How to Cope with 40. I gave six reasons why this age is such a milestone one.

Well, it’s been almost a year now and here is what my experience has been with each of these reasons.

1.      We reflect on the things we have done which we are happy about.

I found myself doing a lot of this type of reflection this year. Partly, it was because I was working on my gratitude journal (more about this in another post) and part of it was because I’ve been trying to practice more mindfulness this year. Most of my reflection during this year, has emphasized being happy about the more immediate things, rather than way Back to the Future past things. For instance, this week, I spent time thinking about all the Peloton arm work outs I’ve been doing this week (more about why I love Peloton in another post, and no, I’m not a brand ambassador). If you guys know me, you know, I’ve got these skinny little Olive Oyl (if you are reading this post, then you should remember her!) arms, so this is a huge accomplishment for me. Yeah, they are 2 lb. weights, but still, I’m happy I did an arm work out once a day last week. So, maybe I haven’t been thinking so much about the deep past like my career choice or even my partner choice, but I’m still reflecting on things I am happy about, even if they are small little things.

2.      We reflect on the things we didn’t do.

Compared to year 39, I’ve been doing a little bit less of this in my 40th  year. It’s funny, but this year, I’ve been thinking more about the things I want to do and will do, not of the things I should’ve could’ve done. Maybe it’s because I’m starting a new decade and not ending one, or maybe I’m just tired of that taste of regret in my mouth. Whatever the reasons, I’m happy I’m doing less of this looking back.

3.      We reflect on the things we want to do.

I’m doing a lot more of this now! Except, I’m not actually thinking about things I want to do in the future. I’m actually trying to do them. I feel that push. I feel that pull. Maybe, I just feel death knocking on my door (I’m only half kidding here which is kind of morbid) but whatever it is, I’m taking action! I don’t think I’ll be buying that two door sportscar or taking a trip anytime soon (COVID19 times here, folks), but I’m working on things I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. I like this side of 40!

4.      We are confronted with our own morality.

Okay, so this has to do with number 3 above. Yeah, so I’m taking action now because I’m 40, because I’m afraid I won’t be able to do those things in the future. But, I’m now looking at it, as a good thing and not a bad thing. I’ve wanted to do some of these things for a very long time, so maybe it isn’t so bad that I’m acknowledging that I won’t be here forever.

My hands are at little stiff in the morning, and I did get my mammogram last year, but hey, my scale this morning said my metabolic age was 37!

5.      We are confronted with our parents’ mortality.

Even with the COVID19 pandemic, I didn’t think about this much. It may be because I lost my dad when I was 32 and I lost many of my close parental figures (grandma, grandpas, uncle) in my twenties and thirties. My mom is all I have left. She’s strong and I bet her metabolic age is not her true age of 75 but rather it’s 65 (she’s in awesome condition). I know I’ll be sad when she dies, but I don’t worry about it too much. Partly because she’s so strong and partly because I’ve lost many of my loved ones already. She is the most important parent in my life, so maybe I’ll feel differently when it finally does happen, but for now I haven’t given it much thought this year.

6.      We begin to contemplate more about how we can look and feel younger.

Well, I haven’t gotten Botox yet! I’ve thought about it but with the pandemic, I haven’t even been able to get my eyebrows waxed or my hair cut in the salon. I’ve been doing my own self care including having my family cut my hair at home. I must admit, though, that I’ve added a Korean face mask ritual to my regular skin care regimen once a week.

I have to say, it hasn’t been too bad, this turning 40 business. I keep forgetting I’m 40 and keep thinking I’m 38 for some reason. Not sure why, but this is the age that seems to come off my tongue every time someone asks me how old I am. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, maybe it’s my way of fooling myself into thinking I’m still young, or maybe it’s because 40 isn’t so bad after all.